“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life”— John 3:16 (NIV).
In the early 80s, a popular Country Western song became one of the soundtracks for the movie, “Urban Cowboy.” The song, “Lookin’ for Love,” expressed the song writer’s feelings with these lyrics: “lookin’ for love in all the wrong places.”
The song’s lyrics refrain “lookin’ for love in too many faces, searchin’ their eyes, lookin’ for traces of what I’m dreaming of…” is all too real for those dreaming of perfect love.
Don’t we all dream of being loved by someone special? We search for it. Pray for it. Seek it on dating websites as well as in the real world of venues designed to attract a significant other. Some even choose the wrong places as the song above mentions.
Seeking a Significant Other
According to the dictionary, the definition of “significant other” is a “person who is important to one’s well-being especially, a spouse or one in a similar relationship.”
Relationships are complicated. There’s no doubt. Just check the statistics for divorce.
Two of my relatives have been married multiple times. One is on her fifth marriage. The other is on his sixth. I’ve met people who have been married more times than that.
What I’ve Learned from My Own Failed Marriage
For almost 19 years, I’ve been single. After my 28-year marriage ended in 2001, I came close to remarrying once in 2008. I’d met the man at church. Desperate for love—and thinking he was the “one,” I ignored the red flags God was waving in my face. Thank goodness, I finally paid attention but God had to smack me upside the head with a holy 2 x 4.
What I’ve learned during my almost two decades of singleness is how much God loves me and wants the best for me. When I married at age 19, I was naïve, under the impression many of us have, especially when we’re younger. An American myth states “two halves make a whole.”
In relationships, that doesn’t work. When two people with emotional baggage—scarred and insecure—drag it with them into a relationship, those problems are actually intensified. It takes two whole healthy people to make one happy healthy whole relationship.
Finding Healing and Wholeness in God
Psalm 147:3 reveals what we really need is God’s help to heal. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (ESV). We must seek wholeness in the love of our Heavenly Father.
There’s an expression, “You can’t give away what you don’t have.” If you don’t love yourself, warts and all, your insecurities will lead to seeking someone else to fill that God-sized hole inside.
We can only love well—giving and receiving love in all our relationships—when we’ve reconciled ourselves to a loving God. His love is sacrificial, perfect, pure, faithful, unconditional, lavish, forgiving, lasting, hope-filled, all-encompassing, enduring, redeeming, gracious, and so much more. God is love.
God is Love
In 1 John 4:8, the apostle John writes, “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love” (NIV).
I grew up in the church. However, I was in my late 40s before I encountered the Living God and began to understand the meaning of “true love.”
True love is not based on us. It’s not based on our abilities or striving to be good enough. You can’t earn true love. It is given freely. God’s invitation is open to all who are looking for authentic love—a lifetime love without boundaries.
God’s Love Knows No Boundaries
God’s love knows no boundaries and has no limits. There’s also no place too deep that His love can’t reach us.
How can we discover God’s amazing love for ourselves? Seek Him in the pages of His love letter to us. The Bible, God’s Holy Word, is filled with truth, grace, strength, hope, peace, and of course, love.
Pursuing God leads to wholeness and true love in His outstretched arms. Romans 5:8 is a reminder. “God showed His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”